Live! From Paradise! #159
May 15th, 2008Life hasn’t been the same since Gwen the Beautiful and I returned from our trip to China.
For one thing, everything that can go wrong has gone from the moment we arrived back on the Mountain.
First came the Attack of the Major Storms. More rain (and thunder and lightning) than even the oldest of Paradise old-timers had ever seen in their lives.
Cloud Creek flooded and took out the road at the bottom of the hill behind our ranch.
The pond at the front of the property flooded also. The water was so high it completely destroyed the road leading from our place to our nearest neighbors, Buck the Ex-Navy Seal and Delly the Interstate Trucker.
An electrical surge fried my computer. (Which, of course, I didn’t know till our power came back on … which didn’t exactly occur in record time.)
When that was over, I went into town to stock up on supplies, and a couple of inebriated fishermen backed into our truck. On the way home, the truck cracked a wheel bearing. And I got a traffic ticket!
Then came the Attack of the Neighbors:
“What’s this you’re writing about how wonderful China is?” Uncle Earl called me to demand. “You some kind of a Communist or something!?”
Jimmy Blue was on that same wavelength when I saw him at the gas station. “If you like it so much over there,” he said, “maybe you shoulda stayed!”
If this wasn’t enough, we’ve also had to deal with, of all things, Animal Hissy Fits:
“Nobody gave us any bread while you were away,” cackled McNugget the Banty Rooster and his fine hens.
“Don’t you touch me!” hissed Bob the Very Careful Cat. “You left just when I was starting to relax around you. Don’t even look my way!”
And the dogs!
Emmy the Bold was hyper. So busy running around that she refused to acknowledge our return.
Decker the Giant-Hearted had gotten so fat that all he could do was lie on his back and refuse to even face our way.
Belle the Wary was … wary. Ears flattened. Tail down. “What’re you up to?” she said. “Whatever it is, don’t do it around me.”
Only Dixie the New Puppy was welcoming.
If you consider having a 35-pound, 4-month-old Labrador chomping on your fingers as though they were pine cones a sign that could mean, “Welcome Home.”
And the horses —
They were a tragedy waiting to unfold.
At first, all was well. The moment they saw us, Huck the Spotless Appaloosa and Rosie the Sweet Arabian kicked up their heels joyfully.
“You’re home!” they whinnied and raced from one end of the corral to the other. All was right with their world — until Emmy and Decker decided to join in the action.
She was caught up in the excitement, but the horses didn’t understand her game.
They panicked.
Ran harder.
Twenty minutes later, order was restored. Emmy and Decker were in the main house with Belle and Dixie. Huck was standing calmly, nuzzling me.
And Rosie stood in the new run-through barn Brannigan the Contractor had finished while we were gone. Bleeding from a gash in the foreleg she’d caught on the ragged edge of a stump.
Gwen held Rosie’s halter, and I wrapped a clean T-shirt tightly around the wound to stop the bleeding and taped it in place. Then I called J.L. the Horse Vet. And then …
Let’s put it this way. As I write this, three weeks after the accident, Rosie’s cut still is badly infected. J.L., Gwen, Maya the Good (our friend and hired hand) and I have spent much of our waking time administering antibiotics and pain relievers to a horse who, like all horses, doesn’t understand that her life is on the line. She shies away. Refuses to take the meds. And once we trick them into her, she does her best to spit them out.
Over the years I’ve been writing, some people have been kind enough to call me a philosopher. Right now, however, I don’t feel philosophical at all.
I feel anxious.
And responsible.
Last week Maya and I refenced the corral so that nothing that doesn’t have hands to open the gate can get inside. Since then, all I’ve been able to think is, “Why didn’t I do this sooner? Why did I wait?”
Rosie’s already told me she forgives me.
But I may never forgive myself.
Larry Brody is an author, veteran television writer and producer and creative director of Cloud Creek Institute for the Arts. He, his wife and their dogs, cats, horses and chickens live in Marion County. The other residents of the mythical town of Paradise reside in his imagination, however, and any resemblance to actual places or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Originally published May 15, 2008